Thursday, 16 December 2010

Lay Some Down

Just heard the weather forecast on the wireless, and apparently we're in for a cold snap. Time to lay down some reserves - the Diplo Winter Omelet is just the job, best taken before dawn with a big mug of tea. MORE RESERVES !

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

"This Is The Life"

Initial road tests have gone very well and the shedavan is back at Diplo HQ for full road legal fit-out. We need to comply with DFT regs on lighting and the favoured choice will be very cheap Series Land Rover fitments readily available from the great Paddock Spares.
We managed to salvage the original jack-legs from the donor caravan which will get fitted as soon as we have a minute, enabling us to level the beast on dodgy ground. The off side of the unit has yet to be painted because originally the "shed" was parked up against a hedge and it never got the treatment. Steps will be needed as the floor is now 24" off the ground !
We are currently dealing with an enquiry for a similar unit but it will be narrower - ours, at 8ft, is road legal (they just changed the rules this year upping max width from 2300mm to 2550mm) but this may cause concern to the average caravan enthusiast so we're opting for 7' by 14'. MORE DIVERSIFICATION !

Monday, 13 December 2010

The Still Of The Night

A very gentle gurgle over a background murmur accompanied by a drip, drip, drip, drip as the catch vessel fills. Still-watching is a very soporific experience. That's absolutely all I have to say about that right now. MORE POORLY LIT SHEDS !

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Plan Ahead ........ avoid a grim Christmas. ".....get this right Santa - Culpin & Son, 32 High Street East, Uppingham, ENGLAND - you can't miss the place, they have a bright red awning in front."
Mr Culpin's Christmas hand-raised Pork Pie has appeared on these pages before and I've just got my order for a couple of two and a half pounders in. What a relief - that's a stress-free, excitement-packed Christmas guaranteed for everybody from just the one 'phone call. KEEP IT SIMPLE !

Friday, 10 December 2010

New Boots and Panties...

... so to speak. Test run in the middle of the night at -5 C recently was interesting ! New tyres are a delight and I thought I'd treat the old girl to some gaiters ( helps hide any fork seal problems 'till it's too late !) MORE RUBBER !

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Anti Freeze

06.00 hrs, 07.12.10 - staff kitchen, East Wing, Diplo Hall. MORE WINTER !

Monday, 6 December 2010

Town & Country........

........Planning Act 1990. Eight by twelve garden shed sited in contravention of the above has vexed the neighbours and the local authority. In the absence of a clear ruling that the timber beauty is not, in fact, a fixed or permanent structure and with the neighbours still whinging like people with nothing better to do - we at Diplo HQ have decided to press on with plan B. Unfortunately for those that like to whinge they will now be getting the same structure but 18" taller than it was before. Having learned all about heuristic algorithms this time last year when the shed arrived, I have set the "missing tile" in place in the form of a rather fetching horse box borrowed from my sister. Simply: empty contents of 8 x 12 shed and jam into 6 x 9 horse box. Lift 8 x 12 shed 24 inches into the air and make safe.
Strip old caravan chassis of wooden floor and bolt down six timber bearers. Pop the the chassis under the dangling shed and lower into position. Fix light board and other DFT requirements to render the new shedavan road legal. We now have a garden shed where we wanted it that can be hauled off to Hunstanton or Biaritz at the drop of a hat. MORE PLANNING !

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

The Grip Of Winter

Winter grip arrives in the form of a pair of Heidenau K41 tyres for the CB Special. Current tyres are very old, hard, slick, cracked and decidedly traction free.
This snow is creating havoc and we are reminded of how completely brain-dead is the average motorist. For my own part I will be absolutely fine and dandy in the most treacherous of conditions with my new tyres fitted. I shall of course hide my delight as I weave through the jack-knifed semis and crunched up cars, casting a sympathetic glance to a stranded motorist still struggling to work out why his Volvo is on its roof in the ditch. Smug, moi ? MORE TRACTION !