Blind as a Bat

Always been a big fan of bats, brave little critters with seemingly massive odds stacked against them. Very energetic flight and a lot of hanging around on a diet of little bugs requires even the diminutive pipistrelle, weighing about 5 grammes, to consume as many as 3000 bugs a day (night). Given they have to do this in the dark/dusk with poor sight and a crude radar system to guide them to their prey, I have always assumed survival to be knife edge operation - I mean just how many bugs can there be to go around ?. Well judging by the state of my goggles, helmet, jacket and bike after a brief ride out of Diplovile the other evening - plenty. Our little friends have got it easy, I reckon. All they need to do is fly at 80 mph about 4ft off the ground with their little mouths wide open for 10 minutes and they'll be replete. MORE SURVIVAL !

Corrective Measures

Now then - we are forever being told that a balanced diet is required to ensure good health and longevity. Far too much VERY good champagne last night in the absence of a barrel of beer, (a small oversight by my host) in an evening of quite delicious food and some of the most amazing wines I've ever come across. Obviously need to make amends today so have revitalised the system with an early morning Huevos Rancheros - very raunchy Chorizo, fat bacon, fresh plum tomatoes, 4 eggs and lashings of Tabasco, washed down with buckets of Yorkshire Gold, of course. MORE BALANCE !
POST SCRIPT (to answer your question, Ron, I consulted my host)
Bubbly:Dampierre Cuvee Des Amabassadeurs, White:Meursault-Blagny 1er Cru 2004, Red:Chateau Prieure-Lichine Margaux 2000, Sweet:Rabaud Promis Sauterne 2001, Port:Dows 1977. The first three in magnums, the Sauterne and the Port, decanted - all in extremely generous quantity. MORE LISTS !

One Small Step .........

This is the business end of a Diplo 220x55 mm solid fuel rocket motor. It consists of two home-made extruded 110x55mm solid fuel cells stuffed end to end into the pipe. The nozzle is cast ceramic. This lot (and possibly multiples of) are contained in a blast box to minimise the risk from errant motor combustion. Not immediately obvious from this picture, but the blast box is bolted to the back of one of Diplo Jnr's push-bikes - we've some work to do because this is an ex skip-find bike that has been stripped of brakes etc for stunt use. Ignition is via a home made Diplo electronic initiator powered by a 12 volt battery using a "GO" button on the handle bars. As with all solid fuel boosters, there is no "OFF" switch. Earlier static motor tests indicate we could be in for some massive thrust and impressive speeds. We have had some huge motor explosions as well but we are confident that recent technical improvements have eliminated the most dangerous problems. MORE ROCKETRY !

Yet More Proof ........

.....if it were needed, that A: less is more, and B: the world throws up delights where cynics would have you doubt it. New crash helmet arrived in the post this morning. Ever since my vintage '60s Everoak got run over by a truck I've been without a satisfactory open-face helmet. Modern-spec gear leaves a protective layer so thick (almost 2 inches !!)that a size 59 helmet will have an o/c of around 860mm or 34 inches !!!!. Several problems here - you end up looking like some weird Disney character with an over-size bonce, goggles don't fit, fuel consumption goes haywire and you're in grave danger of being taken for more brainy than you really are by the cops when they pull you over (that's not good if you're trying to play dumb). I run a sweet pair of Bolle Chrokadesi goggles as preferred by special forces and other tough people, these simply won't sit with your average euro-spec lid. Having spotted a "slim-line" open-facer in the motosickle press I set about trying to establish where it came from. The marvelous e-bay turned up the goods, £39.99 and 10 days later a brand new lid arrived at my door. Considerably less: less weight, less than an inch thick, less protection, less drag. Even more: more comfort, more goggle friendly, more normal, more gas-mileage. This thing is perfect, it accommodates my Chrokadesi bins and appeases my vanity. Quite how useful as a spill deflector is questionable, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. MORE SENSE !

Going Underground

Diplo Jnr's Easter holiday project was to start the well. Every garden should have one. 6' o/d and 4'6" i/d currently 6' deep. The last 4 feet are in solid rock. Sinking the brick liner is a thrill, as you pick away to under-mine the raft the steel cutting edge does its job and the whole chimney sinks gently into the ground. Nice and cool down there. MORE COMMON SENSE !

Post Script

Speechless. MORE FAT !

Easter Beef

As usual, very little to say about the meat. This is a chunk of the fore-rib from one of the top secret Short Horns. I'm not saying it's impossible to buy beef like this, of course you'll find something if you know where to look. The sense of well-being and satisfaction derived from the dainty slices I had last night is priceless, very few words were spoken at the table but discernible whimpers and sighs were detected.
It is very difficult to avoid having a slice too many and a brisk stroll round the block after supper has to be a good idea - more reflection time. The much heralded change in the weather was evident early evening and the sky was demonstrating its "no-sunshine-for-you-tomorrow" look. There was an atmosphere of resigned depression drifting from the gardens of Diploville as sunbeds were being folded, paddling pools emptied and the all-too-shiny gaz barbies were being driven to safety. The capacity of our particular climate to bring us such changes should be embraced and we could save ourselves a lot of bother by not cluttering up our lives with all the accoutrements to turn our gardens into holiday camps. How about - when the sun shines light a fire on the lawn to cook the steaks, lie on the grass in the sun and when it gets a bit hot nip inside to roll around in a cold bath or move under a tree for a minute. When the weather turns in a few days simply move back into the house and shut the door to the garden. MORE WEATHER !