What Could Possibly Go Wrong ?

The above phrase has been adopted as the shit-bike club strap line (love that marketing speak). I have long aspired to emulate the great Jacopo Monti (pictured - with style)

and earlier '70s heroes of the art of dirt oval racing. To this end I have embarked on a race-bike project. I plan to allow some of the fraught process to trickle on to these pages over the coming months. In answer to our simple title - an awful lot. The slightly inauspicious history behind the donor bike may give us a clue. In true Diplo fashion I failed to capture any "before" pictures. The sculpture illustrated below is the pulsing heart of a 1999 Husqvarna 610 enduro bike.

These are massive, sturdy, wilderness-eating, snarly monsters in the right hands. The previous owner thought it wise to slip it into some dirt-track tyres and try flat-tracking it - what could possibly go wrong ? suffice to say - a night in hospital in Swansea and several months recuperation followed the attempt. Here in the lab at Diplo HQ much Yorkshire Gold has been taken and the application of proven dirt track chassis geometry is under way. The shopping list is long and expensive but rest assured we will be taking all the obvious shortcuts. MORE LEFT TURNS !

Shock Horror

Suspension - motosickle development has come a long way since rigid-frame, sprung-seat two wheelers were the norm. Suspending as much of the mass as possible of any vehicle by spring has the effect of cushioning the occupants from the harsh vagaries of the road surface. Springs alone will provide cushioning and a degree of comfort but left to their own devices they will absorb the energy and reciprocate with an equal amount of rebound offering a very "bouncy" ride and failing in the all important task of keeping the tyres in contact with the road. In vehicle suspension we really need this springing to be controlled by damping.

When the GT50 first appeared on the scene last year it was apparent that the ancient Paioli suspension (both back and front) had long since given up damping and was content with doing just the bouncing. Fellow Shit-Bike Club member and enthusiast Rupe Paul will have no truck with iffy suspension and is something of an expert - so I listen to him. Initial response, in the usual Diplo 'shop manner, was to strip the offending shocker (only one on the very advanced mono-shock GT50) and fettle/bodge some sort of recovery. The constituent parts can be seen laid out in the picture - piston, damper rod, seals and pressure bladder are all shot to pieces. Time for a Yorkshire Gold brew and a Turkish smoke to consider the options. First port of call was the very accommodating suspension guru Darren Wnukowski at MCT in Suffolk - he suggested I shipped the offending item to him for a re-build quote. Next day a very brief 'phone call - "beyond salvage". That said, Darren immediately furnished a quote to get a new bespoke shock built by Falcon Shock Absorbers - the beauty of these guys doing their job properly is that they absorb all the shock of the quote - suffice to say very reasonable.

How refreshing to keep bumping into friendly, helpful, practical people in the world of the motosickle - people actually manufacturing top quality products on this little island of ours - marvellous.
I include a shot of the new unit by way of demonstrating just how wonderful life can be - doesn't get any better than this ......
Front forks and other issues to follow.
MORE DAMPING  !!

Let's Get Started

Blimey - that beer making nonsense is just too time consuming and has caused havoc with my blog writing over the past few months. I have a pile of jobs awaiting me at Diplo HQ - things have slipped, the Series is out of MOT, the Little Shit is off the road and the 'shop is a disaster zone. Pictured above is the idyll of motosickle ownership, a selection steeds, sunshine and the prospect of a lazy cruise to the boozer for a Sunday lunchtime freshener. All is not just as it seems right now. The XT pictured has had to go (Rick Parkington has exported it to The South) to make way for the Little BSA GT50 in the middle of the picture. This has come on board to satisfy Diplo Jnr's need to get on the road at an early age. This will need a rebuild over the next few months to be ready for the Spring and the process may feature a little on these pages. The Little Shit is due a new exhaust system which we're proposing to manufacture in house !! The Series needs the rear hubs stripping and re-sealing so the brakes'll satisfy the man from The Ministry. All of these jobs offer hours of entertainment and contemplative Yorkshire Gold moments - First Things First - find the workbench ! MORE DETERMINATION !

Corrective Measures

Now then - we are forever being told that a balanced diet is required to ensure good health and longevity. Far too much VERY good champagne last night in the absence of a barrel of beer, (a small oversight by my host) in an evening of quite delicious food and some of the most amazing wines I've ever come across. Obviously need to make amends today so have revitalised the system with an early morning Huevos Rancheros - very raunchy Chorizo, fat bacon, fresh plum tomatoes, 4 eggs and lashings of Tabasco, washed down with buckets of Yorkshire Gold, of course. MORE BALANCE !
POST SCRIPT (to answer your question, Ron, I consulted my host)
Bubbly:Dampierre Cuvee Des Amabassadeurs, White:Meursault-Blagny 1er Cru 2004, Red:Chateau Prieure-Lichine Margaux 2000, Sweet:Rabaud Promis Sauterne 2001, Port:Dows 1977. The first three in magnums, the Sauterne and the Port, decanted - all in extremely generous quantity. MORE LISTS !

That Second Cup

Consumption of Yorkshire Gold at Diplo HQ is inextricably linked to the amount of 'shop time spent. I have never been comfortable venturing forth on a fettling session without a steaming brew to hand. To keep the elixir in tip-top shape for a second cup, insulation is required and I'm delighted to have put the new chequered cozy into service. MORE BLACK & WHITE !

Flaming June

Blimey - two months off - sorry 'bout that. Actually been very busy but not a huge amount of blog-worthy stuff. The "season" is well and truly upon us and this shot from a school open day back in early June celebrates the arrival of some decent weather. I'm not a big charcoal fan, preferring to make my own as I go by burning huge quantities of seasoned, split oak and ash. The tailgate arrangement does cause concern and it is not unusual for neighbouring pic-nickers to move their precious 4x4 or Bentley GT to the other end of the field. The N/S gas tank leaks quite badly on the Series so wind direction needs to be considered. A spread of hogget chops and chipolatas c/w a pan of garlic-fried new potatoes goes down well on these occasions - on a very warm day you can't beat a cup of Yorkshire Gold to wash it all down. More recently I joined Diplo Junior in an heroic 40 mile sponsored walk in the Brecon Beacons - absolute madness, and carrying a 50lb pack up and down vertiginous terrain has completely ruined my knees. I'm on a strict diet of animal fat and Digfield Brewery's "Fool's Nook" in an attempt to sort them out. On the fettling front - both the XT225 and the CB Special have sailed through the MOT test process.The Series is in for the same as I write ! Having got back on the keyboard I'll try not to leave it so long. MORE REGULARITY !!!
Oh by the way - pigs in freezer and bacon curing under way, yum yum. New weaners coming in a couple of weeks.

Honda Project Part 3

Rebuild's on the way - the Series bonnet is open as the battery's being used as a slave for CB electrical testing. The only failing revealed to date is a weak/intermittent starter solenoid. I was pleased to see at Old Bike Hack that my mucker has been playing with OPE (other people's electrics) - this one's also been a challenge as we have a mixture of 175 and 200 looms, alternator, switch gear etc plus yards of soggy insulting tape to unravel. Allowing myself to drift into Zen mode, isolating myself from the outside world, and taking much Yorkshire Gold - ooh yes, and a couple of imported Izmir Turkish smokes - I seem to have become at one with the problem and started a process of self-healing which has lead to a clean bill of health for the CB electrical system - "...first take the log out of your own eye....".
This rather unattractive nondescript bike has entered my life in a list from D7, Greeves 250 Scottish, C15, G80 S, GPZ 600R, GSXR 1100, G3 L, DR 650, Speed Triple ,GS 1150 and now CB 175/200. It seems remarkably at home. As yet unridden, I think it may have become my favourite so far. I have mentioned earlier in these pages that I have reached the point where any bike will do, having got there it is, of course, obvious that the machine becomes no longer "ANY bike" but "THE bike". I have noticed myself taking great care and effort over reviving failed switches, poor electrical connections and putting right horrible ills inflicted on mechanical objects by many, less sympathetic, past owners. I am not a fan of polished, over-restored renovation but am more concerned with getting things to work smoothly, efficiently - as intended even. At strip-down I really thought a lot of parts would need replacing and had started to make a worrying list for e-bay hunting and a call to David Silver Spares. What I have discovered, with the help of some wise words, much tea and Turkish and a bit of peace and quiet, is that many individual bits can become perfectly serviceable by taking them to one side, stripping them to their smallest constituent parts, cleaning, lubricating and re-assembling without 37 years of accumulated grit, grime, road salt and abuse. Taking up far too much space rambling here. More to follow. MORE IZMIR TOBACCO !