Job Done......

.........sort of ! Two major issues - "occupation" !!!! response probably more aspirational than actual. Secondly the envelope won't fit in the Diploville post box, I had to fold it in half and there was a lot of tearing going on as we negotiated some crafty GPO (sic) anti-theft rat-trap device installed in the jaws. I would like to take this opportunity to wish the statisticians the very best of luck in their attempts to make any useful sense of the whole sorry business. MORE PRIVACY !

Paint Job Profile

The CB Special is one of the founder members of my local Shit-Bike Club, it meets all the criteria for membership, being both shit and a bike. I have mentioned in earlier posts on the CB that it has endeared itself to me in a sort of misfit, ugly duckling kind of way. Now that it is running properly and getting used regularly for local commutes and short-range expeditions it has found itself a bigger audience. It seems that wherever it is parked it draws a crowd of sympathetic observers - maybe they are merely kind-hearted souls plotting a way to put it out of its misery. I have determined that the bike's pulling power is in its patina, most appealingly demonstrated in the original '72 paintwork of the gas tank. It came to my attention caught in the sunlight the other day, emphasised by the fact that the sloppy side-stand allows the parked machine to settle almost horizontal at the kerb showing off its best side to passing pedestrians. MORE WEAR & TEAR !

Five A Day

If you struggle to fit any fruit into your diet - run the bike on it instead. A very careful re-distillation of the Diplo Apple Ethanol has upped the purity sufficiently to get some smooth running.
The carb has been previously jetted at BSD (see earlier post) to run on commercial E85 which is 85% Ethanol mixed with 15% Gasoline to aid cold starting. Our Diplo85 is 85% home made apple ethanol and for the 15% gasoline we used some AvGas to lift the octane level a bit nearer the 109RON of the E85 we're jetted for. Result ! As you can see we've fabricated a tank from a Fanta bottle and the bike can be switched between E85 and Diplo85 by swapping the fuel feed line over on the carb. MORE FRUIT !

Money Can't Buy

Cut a few slices off a Short Horn Rump in preparation for a light Sunday lunch. Quite obviously there's very little to say about the meat - it speaks for itself really. This beef comes from a top secret source in County Diplo and its value is measured in smiles, whimpers and gasps - it can't be bought for money. The fire will be lit at midday and I shall hop on the CB Special (sun's shining) for a five minute ride to the nearest pint of Digfield Ale's "Fool's Nook". By the time I get home the fire will be in tip top condition to recieve a fleeting visit from the rump. These slabs are an inch thick so will get about 2 minutes each side. I've been alerted to a very credible report that red meat taken in excess of around 70 grammes !$%&??!!*%$!! a day is sure to do you in. I'm obviously encouraged - more for us then. MORE RED MEAT !

Play Stops Work

Obviously things have ground to a halt at Diplo HQ with the arrival of Sideburn #7. Threatening messages plastered to the front door for the last week, warning the postman to take extreme care, worked and I was roused from truss loading calcs and wind-sheer forces by a very enthusiastic thumping on the office window. Can't talk now really because, as you can imagine, I have some reading matter to deal with. MORE HOTLY ANTICIPATED DELIVERIES !

That Second Cup

Consumption of Yorkshire Gold at Diplo HQ is inextricably linked to the amount of 'shop time spent. I have never been comfortable venturing forth on a fettling session without a steaming brew to hand. To keep the elixir in tip-top shape for a second cup, insulation is required and I'm delighted to have put the new chequered cozy into service. MORE BLACK & WHITE !

Stress-Free Fuel Testing

Last month I was saved from taking the gas-axe to the CB special by the expertise and wisdom of Mark at BSD (see earlier post). Being a huge fan of experts, pretty much regardless of the field, it was an easy decision to ask Mark if he'd tackle the fueling work on Diplo Jnr's XT. Diplo Jnr has made a quantity of ethanol by distilling last autumn's cider production. The resultant juice is around 82% ABV and suitable for blending with aprox 15% by volume of gasoline to make his own, home-grown version of the commercial E85 available at some forecourts. (The 15% gasoline is required to aid cold starting as it has some of the more volatile fractions missing from straight alcohol). Re-jetting to get the simple, normally aspirated, sluggish 4 stroke to run on alcohol involves dispensing an estimated 30% more fuel. Much as I love trial and error (the largest department at Diplo Technologies Inc) it seemed wise to keep stress levels at bay and ask Mark at BSD to take on the challenge in the comfort of his dyno room.
Within 10 minutes our expert had the XT running sweet on some commercial E85 that we took along by upping the main jet, re-drilling the pilot jet and raising the needle a tad. We actually get a 5% power gain at this point. Next stage was to switch to Diplo Jnr's own fuel. We got the bike running but intermittent missing and spluttering was tracked down (by Mark's nose for these things) to excess water in the fuel. Conventional distillation should enable us to get a maximum of 96% pure Ethanol, beyond which unsavoury chemical processes can be applied (the use of benzine is the most common !!!!).I know we're way short of that and our target of 85% should be good enough. Back to the 'shop and we'll re-run the still to see if we can get rid of a bit more water. MORE DISTILLATION !