The Final Straw ?

My typical pub visit is an "early doors" couple of pints - maybe on the way home or by way of wrapping up the days business with a celebratory/consolatory freshener. Under these circumstances it is by no means compulsory to visit the bog. My ideal pub bog is detached or possibly annexed, certainly doesn't have access from within the building and is pretty basic. Obscure-glazed Crittal windows with a smattering of cracked panes always help and, of course, condensation should be evident. If any wash basin is provided at all, it obviously shouldn't supply hot water. You may have noticed in last month's "Death of A Queen" that we've got a problem with our local. Well it's got worse as can be seen by the picture captured by our intrepid under-cover reporter, Unmitigated Ashley. Having failed to get the seriousness of the problem across via e-mail and 'phone I dragged him down there for a pint so he could witness the horror for himself. The picture says it all really. MORE CONDENSATION !

Haystacks & Saddlebacks

The saddlebacks enjoyed a trip to The Lakes last weekend in the shape of sausages and chops. Camping without having to carry all your kit allows for a bigger tent and a few more luxuries - canned veg. I remember the Lockwoods brand (which may still be around) but these canned new potatoes have that same stale, musty-sweet taste that reassures the traveller. The chops were fantastic and the regular fat porker that we have settled on never fails to work. The more attentive of you will have noticed the lack of precipitation evident in the scene - let me assure you that this fine spell broke very soon after supper on day one ! The Diplo expedition was camped on the East shore of Buttermere and upon arrival we were greeted by fine views of High Cragg and Haystacks to tempt us into our boots and breeches. Within two hours these views had become memories as the heavens opened and rain set in for the next 72. Now - I've seen rain (James Taylor) but this was something else, visibility was reduced to yards and the noise of rushing water was soon deafening. Not to be deterred we did mount a sortie to Haystacks and beyond the next morning. Fully loaded with rations and emergency supplies to cover any eventuality the troop was soon wet through. Enjoying a brief rest in the tricky blind scramble approaching the summit at Haystacks I really did feel as though I was standing in a swimming pool. I'm told the views from Haystacks are stunning but as we were fumbling around, establishing the summit cairn by feel, we were unable to enjoy them and the camera was in no fit state to record the event. Not to be put off, the Diplo team is determined to re-visit "The North" in the hope of finding some better weather. Bar-side instructions on the removal of the sparkler for pouring a decent pint were not always well received or understood. MORE DRYING OUT !