Beauty is Truth .........

Right then - something tells me we've been here before ! Much pork and other meats have appeared on these pages over the years. I would suggest that any of us who received the first outbreak of "horse in beef " news with shock or surprise have been either living on another planet or simply been deluding ourselves. Nothing wrong with horse meat as long as it's prepared for human consumption and not pumped full of Phenylbutazone which will cause you to suffer aplastic anemia. Debates on the merits or otherwise of a more diverse meat diet are generally missing the point which is that manufacturers, distributors and retailers have been marketing horse as beef. That's just plain wrong  - and very ugly - in the view John Keats and the rest of us who acknowledge the beauty of truth. Why is it that the world is so full of untruths and plain bollox ? I've had many a conversation - not least at our weekly ShitBikeClub meetings - in which we have explored what might happen if politicians, big business and The State ran a trial period of 12 months uttering nothing but the plain truth. Needless to say we decided it ain't gonna happen. On the basis that you're never going to know what's in processed foods because "They" aren't going to tell you how it is - just stop buying the stuff. Nutritional benefit for your English Pound is poor and could probably be outstripped by eating your grass cuttings - may be a little extreme - but - let me point out one thing. I know exactly where my bacon comes from because they're my pigs and I cure my own stuff. I also know exactly where my beef comes from because I get it from the man who raises it. Now, I appreciate we can't all do this for the sake of time, space and convenience.We could all get a lot closer though by buying locally from people we know and trust - them's what say it how it is, ask them. I reckon my pigs find their way into my freezer in the form of chops, legs,shoulders, fillets, trotters, sausages and all the wonderful offal at an average of £1.50/lb all in. That's not expensive by any standards. It has to be said that if you prefer your bacon a little less fatty than that above - can't think why - then they'll oblige. A little change of diet is all that's needed.  MORE HONESTY !

Corrective Measures

Now then - we are forever being told that a balanced diet is required to ensure good health and longevity. Far too much VERY good champagne last night in the absence of a barrel of beer, (a small oversight by my host) in an evening of quite delicious food and some of the most amazing wines I've ever come across. Obviously need to make amends today so have revitalised the system with an early morning Huevos Rancheros - very raunchy Chorizo, fat bacon, fresh plum tomatoes, 4 eggs and lashings of Tabasco, washed down with buckets of Yorkshire Gold, of course. MORE BALANCE !
POST SCRIPT (to answer your question, Ron, I consulted my host)
Bubbly:Dampierre Cuvee Des Amabassadeurs, White:Meursault-Blagny 1er Cru 2004, Red:Chateau Prieure-Lichine Margaux 2000, Sweet:Rabaud Promis Sauterne 2001, Port:Dows 1977. The first three in magnums, the Sauterne and the Port, decanted - all in extremely generous quantity. MORE LISTS !

Miracle Cure

Those little Saddlebacks done good. As you can see we butchered the latest batch at considerably less weight than the GOS/Tamworths we did last year. The belly fat here is much thinner. To be honest, I prefer a bit more "white meat" but am still very pleased with the result of this dry cure product. The miracle cure I refer to is my knee - my self-prescription of animal fat and Fool's Nook has been doing the job and I am now getting used to walking without a stick again and have lost the Douglas Barder motion that was required to get along without bending the knees. I would like to think that the bacon shown here has contributed to the heeling process. A fresh batch of weaners is due next week ! Gloucester Old Spot X Tamworths again, as last year. MORE MIRACLES !

Munt Jacket

A brace of Muntjacs made their way to Diplo HQ a couple of weeks ago - much needed protein top up for the freezer and Diplo Junior has plans to make himself a jacket. The Fallow deer here-abouts are pretty easy to skin but I'd forgotten just how tenacious these little critters are. There's very little fat on a Muntjac and in places (around the flanks & shoulders particularly) the flesh and the skin are almost inseparable. Much swearing and delicate knife-work later we had them both stripped and ready for a few days hanging before making their way into the freezer.
The hides have moved on to Shed 2 for curing and tanning. A salt petre cure, after removal of any stray bits of flesh and the tricky membrane that remains attached, takes 4 to 5 days. This is followed by a week's drying - when dry the last few bits of membrane and sinew can be scraped and rubbed away. Next is a good wash in Sodium Carbonate solution and a few rinses through with fresh water.
Meanwhile the tanning solution of Ammonium Alum Sulphate, Sodium Carbonate and Salt is prepared and the hides dunked in for a 4 to 5 day soak. This is where we're at right now. Next stage is a good wash in a Borax solution, much rinsing, drying and oiling. Let you know how we get on. MORE PELTS !

Winter Tips 3

After a week of hefty breakfasts we at Diplo Hall find ourselves looking forward to a lighter meal on a Sunday morning. Pancakes with a slab of butter, a bottle of maple syrup and a rasher or two of streaky are a regular accompaniment to The Morning Service on the wireless. Today this little snack fills the gap nicely between the squirrel culling in the garden (from the warmth of the kitchen) and subsequent skinning and pinning out of pelts - perfect weather with a dry chill in the air.
We should of course take a lesson from our tree climbing friends and lay on a bit of fat for winter - this thick sub-cutaneous layer is built up around the vital organs above the hips and is just not present at other times of the year. Squirrel burgers for tea today then. MORE VARIETY !

Trials & Tribulations

Sadly this TY (my son's bike) was stolen a few months ago, demonstrating that motorcycle ownership has it's bad moments. I started riding bikes when I was about 11 - my first expedition being a helmet-less trip on a step-thru C90 along the Fosse in the Cotswolds, brought to a swift end by the intervention of the law ( Morris Minor panda I recall). My own son started at the age of four with a QR 50 and then progressed onto the TY above. I'm sure the TY must have been a killer for Yamaha because it was so beautifully made, and although it sold in huge quantities from '74 to '84 can't have made them a lot of money. Since my introduction to the joys of two wheeled motorised transport I have ridden, owned, borrowed, crashed, been frightened by and enjoyed a vast range of machines (more to appear on these pages). I have, for many years, been under the mistaken impression that, for motorcycling heaven to be complete, one would need at-least three machines: 1. For crashing about in the fields, woods, quarries and occasional blats on the tarmac ( this bike to remain covered in mud and to be, cosmetically, a disaster but kept in tip-top mechanical fettle. ) 2. An excessively powerful, exquisitely handling, massively braked, howlingly exhausted all-out sports bike for pure adrenalin filled, knife-edge weekend riding and track days (probably Italian). 3. Big fat comfy, torquey, lazy slob machine for taking in the scenery, long jaunts around Europe and short trips to the news agents to pick up motorcycle comics. Well then - imagine my shock when I suddenly realised that all this was complete bollox. I've been without a bike for over three years now and suffer badly as a result. I've come to the conclusion that the thing holding me back has been the search for the ideal compromise machine ! Disaster, what folly - fortunately I hang out with some people who make sense and I have had it spelled out to me quite clearly that "any bike is better than none " - well of course it is - and how the bloody hell did I miss that one ? By lowering my sights, expectations, vanity threshold, bike snobbery visor and budget I have settled on the perfect solution - a hundred quid's worth of bits that may even yield two complete bikes at a push, conveniently located at the far end of the country in a shed. I'll let you know how it all goes on these pages. MORE PROBLEMS !

......... All Gone

Charming little straight Tempranillo Rioja helps cut the fat. That's all I have to say about that.

MORE .............!

And On The 366th Day ............

........ Mary's little lamb became a Hogget. With all the goodness of a spring lamb but with 5 times as much fat and flavour these little chaps are the hard earned result of letting your lamb survive past its first birthday. I have just eaten the chops pictured here, fresh off the fire with a few new potatoes and a Sweetheart cabbage. Quite delicious. A friend of mine who has been producing the finest pork in the world from free range Tamworths has branched into the art of Hogget rearing, she also produces some delicious beef from a small Dexter herd. Now there's a versatile animal if ever there was one - very compact, great dairy cow and a first class meat producer - very trick. MORE FLAVOUR !