New Boots and Panties...

... so to speak. Test run in the middle of the night at -5 C recently was interesting ! New tyres are a delight and I thought I'd treat the old girl to some gaiters ( helps hide any fork seal problems 'till it's too late !) MORE RUBBER !

Anti Freeze

06.00 hrs, 07.12.10 - staff kitchen, East Wing, Diplo Hall. MORE WINTER !

Town & Country........

........Planning Act 1990. Eight by twelve garden shed sited in contravention of the above has vexed the neighbours and the local authority. In the absence of a clear ruling that the timber beauty is not, in fact, a fixed or permanent structure and with the neighbours still whinging like people with nothing better to do - we at Diplo HQ have decided to press on with plan B. Unfortunately for those that like to whinge they will now be getting the same structure but 18" taller than it was before. Having learned all about heuristic algorithms this time last year when the shed arrived, I have set the "missing tile" in place in the form of a rather fetching horse box borrowed from my sister. Simply: empty contents of 8 x 12 shed and jam into 6 x 9 horse box. Lift 8 x 12 shed 24 inches into the air and make safe.
Strip old caravan chassis of wooden floor and bolt down six timber bearers. Pop the the chassis under the dangling shed and lower into position. Fix light board and other DFT requirements to render the new shedavan road legal. We now have a garden shed where we wanted it that can be hauled off to Hunstanton or Biaritz at the drop of a hat. MORE PLANNING !

The Grip Of Winter

Winter grip arrives in the form of a pair of Heidenau K41 tyres for the CB Special. Current tyres are very old, hard, slick, cracked and decidedly traction free.
This snow is creating havoc and we are reminded of how completely brain-dead is the average motorist. For my own part I will be absolutely fine and dandy in the most treacherous of conditions with my new tyres fitted. I shall of course hide my delight as I weave through the jack-knifed semis and crunched up cars, casting a sympathetic glance to a stranded motorist still struggling to work out why his Volvo is on its roof in the ditch. Smug, moi ? MORE TRACTION !

Still Waters....

20 gallons of cider which has been fermenting furiously for 16 days is about ready for the next stage in the apple-ethanol production test run. Today's frantic 'shop activity at Diplo HQ has been concentrated on getting the still built. The condenser is complete and ready for action. We made a decision to sacrifice one of the vast collection of assorted brand petroleum spirit cans. Scrap copper pipe is crudely bent to fit and soldered at both ends - we figured around six feet of cooling coil would do the trick. Garden hose tap connectors will allow simple flow of chilled water when required. The Aeroshell 5 gallon can is the mash container which is going to receive the fabricated copper reflux tube in the next 'shop session. We're also contemplating adding a reinforced heating plate to the base to prevent burn-through. The whole contraption will sit atop a gas burner and bubble away merrily. Keep you posted. MORE MOONSHINE !

The Final Straw ?

My typical pub visit is an "early doors" couple of pints - maybe on the way home or by way of wrapping up the days business with a celebratory/consolatory freshener. Under these circumstances it is by no means compulsory to visit the bog. My ideal pub bog is detached or possibly annexed, certainly doesn't have access from within the building and is pretty basic. Obscure-glazed Crittal windows with a smattering of cracked panes always help and, of course, condensation should be evident. If any wash basin is provided at all, it obviously shouldn't supply hot water. You may have noticed in last month's "Death of A Queen" that we've got a problem with our local. Well it's got worse as can be seen by the picture captured by our intrepid under-cover reporter, Unmitigated Ashley. Having failed to get the seriousness of the problem across via e-mail and 'phone I dragged him down there for a pint so he could witness the horror for himself. The picture says it all really. MORE CONDENSATION !

Words Fail Me

And that's all I have to say about that - again. MORE BREAKFAST !