Winter Tips 1

Top tip from an experienced open car campaigner. Blow the snow off the seats etc before it has a chance to melt, a casual flick with a rag is all it takes and you're sure of a snug drive to work. LESS IS MORE !

Sat Nav 3

No 3 in the Sat Nav series has been prompted by the previous post and subsequent beer lubricated conversations on the subject of people who either can't or won't think for themselves. I was actually obliged last week to nudge a rep-driven Vectra into commitment at a local roundabout as the driver seemed frozen in some incapacitating trance by the electronic gadget stuck to his windscreen. I'm a map man myself and given half a chance I'll sort out where I'm going beforehand. One of the key principles to successful navigation is the need to know where you are at any given time, lose that thread and you make work for yourself. I was trying to render assistance to a startled delivery driver recently who's SatNav had let him down. Within 30 seconds it became apparent that he had no idea what county he was in, he would have had more luck locating himself on my road map if he'd been blindfolded and given a pin to stick in the page. I couldn't get any sense out of him as he stared in disbelief at the blank screen on his dashboard. His blind faith in the electronic gadget was so strong that he had let it take him on a 4 or 5 hour delivery run to God-knows-where, the minute it expired he was lost, not just unsure but utterly without any concept of where he was ! Amazing. A recent trip to Ireland prompted a trawl of the Diplo map library, armed with a 1900 Bartholomew's Road Atlas and a 1:500,000 J&B Touring map from 1963 smooth navigation was assured, a more up to date sheet from the car hire company filled in the missing gaps and I was able to decline the offer of a rental SatNav from Mr Hertz. If I really needed open-heart surgery or a limb amputaion I might consider handing responsibility to another, (I'd need to see references, would want to verify the quality of his shoes and maybe check on his tailor) but for anything else I'll be in control thank you, and that certainly includes getting where I want to go. MORE SENSE !

Signs of Absolution....

... or "Diminished Responsibilities". We are blessed in this quiet corner of County Diplo with a generous smattering of fine churches and it seems that local pressure for the introduction of yet another rash of ill-conceived signage is endangering our enjoyment of one more. The approach over the causeway across the flood plane to the South of the village of Fotheringhay offers what has long been at the top of my list of the best church-scapes in the country - somewhat blighted now as can be seen here. The bridge we are being warned about is indeed narrow but by no means invisible so I simply do not appreciate the need for the sign. Over the years there have been accidents here but surely the bridge was not at fault, some people simply can't drive properly, have no concept of speed, no spacial awareness or have failed to think about what they are doing. Quite apart from aesthetic and environmental concerns over road signage I have another, far more serious beef - I believe we have an ever increasing bulk of the population who can't think for themselves and in producing all this guidance we are only encouraging them to switch off. There is an argument that we need to point out hazards to idiots but conversely it has to be said that the more we direct, the more we diminish responsibility. At the West end of Diploville there is a quiet primary school, just inside the 30mph speed limit, it goes without saying that when some half-sharp double glazing rep flattens a five year old who carelessly steps between parked cars at school-out time, his defence will be that he was "only doing 30 - that's the speed thing in'it ...". No comfort really to those scraping bits of bloodied grey flannel shorts and satchel off the tarmac. Quite obviously the driver's at fault even if " ..he just came from nowhere, jumped out he did..." - however the local authority have absolved him of all responsibility by telling him it's ok to drive at thirty.
I was interested to hear the discussions taking place on the wireless over the weekend around the decision to require parents accompanying children from a Cambridgeshire school on a short walk to some event to be CRB checked ! A few things'll result from this - volunteers with a criminal record may be deterred from helping, child molestators and other unsavories who've been clever enough not to have been caught will be happy, the school will be absolved of all responsibility because they've done their bit and the children will be at no more or less risk than they were visiting the un-CRB checked priest for tea and cakes after mass - marvelous. To go back to the narrow bridge - not many people have ever had a head-on collision with a closing speed of 60mph, many of those that have will not have survived, many that survived will have expressed surprise that their obligatory seat belt didn't stop them getting a bloodied nose, some will have sued the car manufacturer and no doubt some will have sued the local authority for not telling them that a 10ft wide bridge is not wide enough for two cars to pass. None of the above should concern us in the least - remove those who can't drive, read a map, change a wheel etc etc from the road, we could then get rid of all the signs, there'd be more pleasure in driving for those of us that can and we'd be able to enjoy some of our splendid countryside without bright red and yellow aluminium scars. MORE ACCOUNTABILITY !

16012-354-004

Not Alan Whicker's jet set, but that from an 18mm Kehin carb. Where to start ? Induction issues with the CB Special are well documented on these pages, and as part of the earlier attempts to get the creature to run properly a matching pair of carb refurb kits was ordered from the great David Silver Spares. The refurb kit includes a bundle of gaskets, o rings, float jet and needle, pilot jet, emulsion tube, main jet, jet needle, mixture screws etc etc - what it doesn't include is a needle jet for the jet needle to run in. What I have discovered is that the OEM Needle Jet Set from Honda (part no 16012-354-004) comprises both, crucial, matching parts - tolerances here are down to 1/100th mm so size matters. Needless to say the kit pictured above appears to be the only OEM part in the world and I need a pair !! I can think of a bunch of goodies that come in pairs and that's great but in the case of carbs for my project I'd be happier to run a single. In the same way that I really need two eyes to fully appreciate distance, scale, perspective and allow my brain to perform lightening quick calculations of on-coming vehicle speeds, my little twin needs two very clever, minutely detailed, perfectly machined, finely balanced, infinitely variable fuel metering and delivery instruments to enable it to run properly. It's not. MORE JET SETS !

IKB Top Up

It seems years since I've had a close brush with IKB, one is usually left heartened and impressed by the experience and of course it was only a few months ago that I trundled over the Firth of Forth and enjoyed a good deep metaphorical lung-full of his genius in the shape of the Forth Rail Bridge. A recent visit to Bristol demanded a couple of hours therapy in the old Great Western dry dock, drooling over the SS Great Britain. Couldn't resist this shot of a pair of 8" nuts retaining one of the main bearing journals of the gargantuan inverted V4 1000HP low pressure steam engine. The ship has just had a pile of money spent on her in an effort to halt corrosion - a false water level has been built in glass with a couple of inches of water slopping around on top giving the impression that the ship is afloat. A staircase takes you down "underwater" where a massive de-humidifying plant keeps the atmospheric humidity below 20% - in these dry conditions the salts absorbed into the old iron plates and ribs are prevented from causing any more damage - very trick and worthwhile.
This shot of the single screw merits inclusion as its design came about, like so many wonders, via the IKB Trial&Error department. Apparently the first design failed to cope with the power and staggering torque of the engine and had to be re-developed. Brunel's approach to problem solving was incredibly brave, confident, considered and ingenious but it's the sheer forcefulness of his efforts, his ability to actually get these projects off the ground, raise finance, cope with sceptics and just keep going in the face of immense problems that impress me most. I've bought a ticket for the SS GB and sent it to No 10 in the hope that Gordon might learn something about what we need to be doing in this country. MORE ENGINEERING !

Bubble & Squeak Part 6

Just had six weeks salt-curing and we're starting the maturing process. This little critter will be wrapped in muslin and popped on the bottom shelf in the North pantry at Diplo Hall. Couldn't resist a rasher or two this morning. Delicious, albeit a bit salty just yet, the next three or four months should mellow that. MORE BREAKFAST !

Whoops - All Gone !

Chef's Perks. August's five pounder from the expedition North has been eaten. Cooked on a fire of Ulmus procera Salis, this little critter was gone in minutes. Less is more - plain boiled new potatoes and a simple salad with a dash of Hollandaise and a slug of white Burgundy for accompaniment. My memory's clogging up a little but I reckon it'd be around '84/'85 that I excused myself from a quiet pre-dinner drink and stepped into the kitchen to prepare a beef stroganoff for a few friends around for dinner at Diplo Hall. Finding myself alone with two pounds of the most beautiful Hereford fillet, resting at room temperature, a pint of cream, half a dozen plump field mushrooms picked that morning, some delicate spanish onions, a basket of fresh spinach and a fine bottle of Cote de Rhone I got a bit carried away. It was perhaps half an hour later that an anxious, hungry and concerned guest came to join me and check on progress. Alas he was too late. Without so much as firing up the stove or touching a kitchen utensil, the lot was gone - I did my best impression of a puppy that'd been caught eating the furniture but to no avail. All's well that reaches the finish line etc and much Weetabix was enjoyed by all. As you can see there's enough fish left here to go around. MORE APPETISERS !